Gender inequality is an issue that Japan faces on many fronts, including work, politics, and even holidays. A while ago we covered the sexist undertones of Valentine’s Day in Japan. We reviewed some common complaints from Japanese women, and responses from popular chocolate makers. However, we did not look too deeply at the holiday that was created in response: White Day in Japan.
Today, let’s take a closer look at what the Japanese holiday “White Day” is about. How does it complicate issues of equality? And how do people in Japan navigate its many rules?
What Is White Day in Japan?
White Day is a holiday that falls exactly one month after Valentine’s Day, on March 14. This holiday has no deep roots or special meanings. It’s a purely commercial holiday developed by Japanese confectioners in which men are obliged to repay the women who gifted them chocolates the month before.
Not a bad deal, considering how many women go out of their way to gift chocolates the month before. But could this commercially-driven holiday create just as many misunderstandings as Valentine’s Day?
The History of White Day in Japan
Apparently, many confectioners saw the tradition of women giving gifts as not just unfair to women but to business as well. Click To TweetThe origins of White Day started in the late 1960s. At this point, people were not as vocal about gender issues as they are today. So women faithfully followed the rules of the patriarchy, buying tons of chocolates for men, expecting nothing in return. However, a different group spoke out: the candy manufacturers themselves.
Apparently, many confectioners saw the tradition of women giving gifts as not just unfair to women but to business as well. Why only sell half the amount of sweets when companies could double revenue with products that men could gift back? Enter White Day!
Small businesses started the trend of marketing sweets towards men, encouraging them to “return the Valentine’s Day favor”. Eventually, bigger companies caught on, and in 1978, the first official White Day was born.
Marshmallow Day
Originally, White Day in Japan wasn’t “White Day”, but Marshmallow Day. The holiday’s progenitor – traditional Japanese confectionery brand, Ishimura Manseido – began their campaign advertising marshmallows as the go-to gift. Facing financial hardship at the time, and seeking a way out, the company president found his answer in a women’s magazine. Apparently, many women disapproved of the inequality they faced on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps, he thought, he could fix that problem by giving them something in return.
On March 14, the company launched its first campaign, beginning with marshmallows. In 1980, Japan’s National Confectionary Industry Association established the official holiday as White Day and the “answer to Valentine’s Day” for women.
There are a few theories as to the origins of the name White Day. Some say it comes from the color of the original campaign product, the marshmallows. Others say it was to associate the holiday with purity and happiness. Originally, the idea was that gifts should also be white as a reflection of this concept. Marshmallows, white chocolates, and white flowers, for example. However, nowadays, the holiday has less to do with the color, and more to do with value.
Love With Strings Attached
In many western countries, we tend to select holiday gifts for loved ones based on what we think they would like. In Japan, however, gift shopping is a bit more complicated. There are many things to consider, from relationship to financial status, to how much the person gave you the month before. To properly gift someone on White Day, there are actually many rules!
The first rule to consider is whether or not someone gave you something on Valentine’s Day. It is a general rule of thumb that you should return the favor, regardless of whether the person is a romantic interest or not. (How many people actually follow this rule is something we will look at in just a moment.)
What you give back will depend on what you received. There are two main types of chocolate women give on Valentine’s Day. “Giri-choco,” or “obligation chocolates,” are given to male coworkers, friends, and acquaintances out of obligation. “Honmei-choco,” or “true feelings chocolate,” is chocolate given as a romantic gesture as a confession, or to a significant other.
The second rule is to consider the value of the gift you received. Return gifts should always equal or slightly exceed the amount you received from the person, but should never be less! However, this rule applies mainly to giri-choco exchanged with friends and coworkers. If you have a significant other or received a special honmei-choco, expectations will be quite a bit higher.
Love Don’t Cost A Thing… Or Does It?
When it comes to couples and honmei chocolates, there is an unwritten rule: your return gift should be at least 3x the value of what you received!
However, it seems men and women are at odds when it comes to how much they expect to spend. According to a survey that interviewed both men and women on the value of the gift they expected to receive, the women’s expectation was nearly 5x that of the men! However, this only applied to those in relationships, and those who handed out special honmei chocolates. When it came to obligation chocolates, men and women appeared to be on the same page.
If you’re wondering who established this rule, look to none other than the confectionaries who started the White Day trend. It began with the trend to make up for the “lost profits” of Valentine’s Day. Companies figured they could more than cover that loss if men were encouraged to buy three times the amount women spent. It seems they were right.
Nowadays, regardless if it began as a cleverly marketing ploy or not, the 3x trend has become so ingrained in society’s expectations that if you don’t follow it, you could seriously offend your recipient! In fact, it’s not uncommon to hear of romance horror stories and break-ups occurring, all because the return gift was “too cheap”.
Sadly, instead of fulfilling its purpose of making things more fair for women, this mindset only fortifies the stereotype of women as codependent on men, and men as their providers.
Not All Black and White
As you can see, all these can end up causing more harm than good. Rather than making things easier for people who want to celebrate, it only raises more questions.
For example, what if you don’t remember the value of chocolates everyone gave you? What if you’re super popular and received chocolates from hundreds of women? And what about homemade chocolates – how do you place a price on that?
What if you don’t know what kind of chocolate a woman gave you? Was it a confession of love, or a simple, obligatory giri-chocolate? What if you aren’t interested in ANY of the women that gave you chocolate? What if you aren’t interested in women at all? How does White Day in Japan work for the LGBTQ+ community?
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
First, let’s look at one of the biggest questions: was it giri-chocolate, or does she really love me!? While many women are fretting during the month-long wait between Valentine’s Day and White Day, wondering if the guy they gave confession chocolates to will return their feelings, many men are facing a similar ordeal.
People tend to be discreet with their feelings in Japan. So when everyone is giving gifts to everyone else, it can be confusing to know which of those gifts actually have special meaning. (See how Valentine’s Day complicates things?)
This also causes problems for some women. Many regret receiving overly extravagant gifts or date proposals from men they had no interest in, simply because that person misunderstood the intention behind an obligation chocolate. And some have faced even bigger problems in the form of power harassment and sexual harassment on the job. Some women reported receiving inappropriate gifts such as lingerie from coworkers, or senior workers pressuring them into wearing gift accessories from them.
Proper Reciprocation for White Day in Japan
As we mentioned, it is the value of a gift that determines whether it is appropriate. For giri-chocolates, it should be around 500 yen. However, if you work in a big office, or are a CEO of a company with many employees, you may have many gifts to return.
Cookies are one of the safest gift options on White Day. They have no romantic significance and are less likely to cause misunderstandings. And you can easily make them yourself! By baking cookies in large batches, and handing out little gift bags with a few cookies in each, you can save a lot of time and money reciprocating a greater amount of people. (And many will appreciate the home-made touch!)
Ironically, despite the original name of the holiday, marshmallows are no longer an acceptable gift. Many women consider them cheap. This is also what you can give to let someone know you’re not interested, but appreciate their gesture. Think of it as a polite rejection gift. It’s better than ghosting or being impolite!
(In less favorable circumstances, there have also been stories of receiving marshmallows as a “break-up gift”. Ouch.)
Does Everyone Celebrate White Day in Japan?
Contrary to its popularity, White Day in Japan doesn’t appeal to everyone. This includes both men and women alike. A survey showed that nearly half of people in Japan do not like the holiday, though many celebrate out of obligation. Some people even opt-out of gift-giving completely. The biggest reason: it’s too complicated! But what do the ladies who on the receiving end think?
Surprisingly, out of the 53% of women who gave out girl-chocolates, only 31% expected anything in return. While many replied that they’d be thrilled to receive something, on the other hand, they wouldn’t be too upset if they didn’t. For many, it’s because they don’t want to pressure their friends and coworkers. Others would rather receive nothing at all than something they don’t like or can’t use. (73% of women reported getting a return gift they either couldn’t use, or downright hated, at least once).
What About Married Couples?
Yes, most married men also receive chocolates on V-Day. However, because they are usually obligation chocolates (or at least, they should be!), most wives are already well aware of the expectations on their husbands for White Day.
A survey of married women revealed that about 40% of wives will check what kind of chocolates (and how many) their husband receives on Valentine’s Day. And of that 40%, another 40% of women play a role in helping their husbands prepare the return chocolates for White Day.
This actually helps both parties: the wife knows who is giving her husband chocolate, and the husband gets help choosing the right gift to avoid any miscommunications. And they both get to share chocolates. Everyone wins!
As for the couple themselves, if the wife gifted her husband something on Valentine’s Day, she will most likely expect a nice gift in return, too. (The same goes for dating couples). However, it is less common for married couples to celebrate than those that are just dating.
What About The LGBTQ+ Community?
Finally, another common question is, how does the LGBTQ+ community celebrate White Day ?
This varies widely from person to person, and usually depends on how they view Valentine’s Day. V-Day is strongly based on hetero-normative relationships and established gender roles. It is especially exclusive of people who identify as queer or non-binary. Because of this, many simply choose not to celebrate. Though for some people already in relationships, they may still gift something to their partner just for fun. For gay and lesbian couples, many even choose to gift each other on both days!
However, these differences don’t seem to have much effect outside of the romantic sphere. Many LGBTQ+ people in Japan still express following the rules of giving non-romantic obligation chocolates at the workplace and say they don’t mind receiving them.
The Best Gift Of All…?
As we can see, White Day in Japan is certainly more complicated than many other holidays. There are many expectations, many of which are steeped in gender inequality and heteronormative roles. As for the holiday itself, perhaps many people probably make a bigger deal out of it than it really is.
With gender inequality already a big issue in Japan (yes, both women and men acknowledge this!), should we really care about the value of a chocolate bar given to us a month ago? Maybe we should be looking at the underlying issues that birthed such expectations instead. Nothing against chocolate, of course – I’m always happy to receive some myself! However, there are much better ways to level out the gender gap than with another commercial holiday.
For starters, I can think of a few things that most women would prefer to receive instead of an obligatory box of chocolates, especially from the men in the workplace…like equal pay, better treatment, and more representation in both the work and political sphere!
